I’ve been feeling quite a bit of anger and irritation lately. Have no idea why. I don’t like myself when I’m angry, because I take it out on Chad and my kids. I feel like I’m going backwards, so that adds even more of an expectation on myself to have a good attitude. But no matter what I’ve tried to do, I still feel angry. The problem is I know what to do about it, but just haven’t had this great desire to really try.
Do you ever have times in your life where you are just done? No, I’m not talking about being done with life completely, but done with what you’re going through. Right now, I would like to just buy a house on a lake and live there for as long as I want, with no added expectations of me except to care for my family. Now, I know this to be a very selfish desire, and obviously, I’m not going to do that. But it does sound very tempting.
Combine my attitude of being “done” along with feelings of anger and irritation and you have one whopper of an attitude. No, it’s not pretty.
Yesterday at church we had a guest pastor, Pastor Russ Jones, speak. Chad and I attended a conference with 5 others from our church, so Chad asked Russ to come and preach for him. We really enjoy Russ and his wife, Marsha. We consider them our pastors and also good friends.
Pastor Russ preached on the life of Paul out of Ephesians 4. God spoke to me through Pastor Russ. I knew He would. I thought about not going to church but now I’m so glad I did.
Here are a few of the statements Pastor Russ made that really challenged me:
“The consequences of living for Christ can be troublesome. But we can’t let that stop us from living for Christ.”
“We need to move forward to the calling that God has called us to.”
“God has placed me where I am, to be used as I am.”
Here is what I heard God telling me:
“Samantha, I know you’re struggling, I know you don’t want to be feeling the way you do, with all the “old” emotions coming back. Give those to Me. Seek out my Truth, and rebuke the enemy when he tells you lies. I’m not going to stop using you just because you are experiencing a setback. But I want you to come to Me whenever those old thoughts do return. Don’t let the battle in your mind keep you from living for Me. You can fight it. I have given you everything you need to fight it. My Word, the Holy Spirit, and others to pray for you. I have a purpose for You, and no, you may not be doing what you want to right now, but I am still going to use you right where you are, if you let Me.”
Obviously God didn’t speak to me like this word for word, but I did hear this as Pastor Russ was preaching. You see, Russ didn’t know that he needed to preach about these things just because I needed to hear them, but God did. I truly believe that God used Pastor Russ to not only comfort and encourage me, but to remind me that I need to seek Him first, when I begin to doubt.
Has God spoke to you this week? Was it through a person, song, article, blog? I’d love to hear what God has done for you this week, and it will encourage not only others, but yourself as well. Feel free to leave a comment below. Have a great week. 🙂
Living With Real Joy 