Has God Spoken To You Lately?

I’ve been feeling quite a bit of anger and irritation lately. Have no idea why. I don’t like myself when I’m angry, because I take it out on Chad and my kids. I feel like I’m going backwards, so that adds even more of an expectation on myself to have a good attitude. But no matter what I’ve tried to do, I still feel angry. The problem is I know what to do about it, but just haven’t had this great desire to really try.

Do you ever have times in your life where you are just done? No, I’m not talking about being done with life completely, but done with what you’re going through. Right now, I would like to just buy a house on a lake and live there for as long as I want, with no added expectations of me except to care for my family. Now, I know this to be a very selfish desire, and obviously, I’m not going to do that. But it does sound very tempting.

Combine my attitude of being “done” along with feelings of anger and irritation and you have one whopper of an attitude. No, it’s not pretty.

Yesterday at church we had a guest pastor, Pastor Russ Jones, speak. Chad and I attended a conference with 5 others from our church, so Chad asked Russ to come and preach for him. We really enjoy Russ and his wife, Marsha. We consider them our pastors and also good friends.

Pastor Russ preached on the life of Paul out of Ephesians 4. God spoke to me through Pastor Russ. I knew He would. I thought about not going to church but now I’m so glad I did.

Here are a few of the statements Pastor Russ made that really challenged me:

“The consequences of living for Christ can be troublesome. But we can’t let that stop us from living for Christ.”

“We need to move forward to the calling that God has called us to.”

“God has placed me where I am, to be used as I am.”

Here is what I heard God telling me:

“Samantha, I know you’re struggling, I know you don’t want to be feeling the way you do, with all the “old” emotions coming back. Give those to Me. Seek out my Truth, and rebuke the enemy when he tells you lies. I’m not going to stop using you just because you are experiencing a setback. But I want you to come to Me whenever those old thoughts do return. Don’t let the battle in your mind keep you from living for Me. You can fight it. I have given you everything you need to fight it. My Word, the Holy Spirit, and others to pray for you. I have a purpose for You, and no, you may not be doing what you want to right now, but I am still going to use you right where you are, if you let Me.”

Obviously God didn’t speak to me like this word for word, but I did hear this as Pastor Russ was preaching. You see, Russ didn’t know that he needed to preach about these things just because I needed to hear them, but God did. I truly believe that God used Pastor Russ to not only comfort and encourage me, but to remind me that I need to seek Him first, when I begin to doubt.

Has God spoke to you this week? Was it through a person, song, article, blog? I’d love to hear what God has done for you this week, and it will encourage not only others, but yourself as well. Feel free to leave a comment below. Have a great week.  🙂

Is It That Time of the Month Again?

I asked myself that question yesterday morning, while getting ready for church. Lately, every little thing has been getting on my last nerve. I’ve been snippy with Chad, and my patience is growing thinner every day with my children. So what is a woman’s natural response to these moods? “It must be that time of the month.”

Chad, like many other husbands out there, can usually tell when that special time is approaching. Except in this case, that’s not the issue.

Then I check to make sure I’ve taken all my medications. Yup.

Next I think that I must not be praying enough or reading enough. Though there may be some truth to that, God is definitely not making me grumpy and easily irritable because I’m not fulfilling my prayer or reading quota.

It was in church this morning that I realized it doesn’t matter why I’m in the mood I’m in. Yes, knowing if there is an underlying issue that needs dealing with may be in order. Especially if this does not go away shortly. But the only real answer to my negative attitude is Jesus.

As I was listening to Chad preach out of the book of Acts, a few key points hit me:

1) We HAVE to be connected to God.

Chad read the passage in Acts where Jesus ascended into Heaven and sent down the Holy Spirit in His place. Jesus knew that we couldn’t live the Christian life by ourselves. He isn’t going to leave us hanging high and dry. It’s our responsibility to make sure we stay connected to God. This is vital. It’s like needing oxygen to breathe.

2) God gave us a family. It’s called the Church.

I love the passage in Acts 2:42 – “And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.” The followers of Christ were devoted to each other. The dictionary defines devoted as “characterized by loyalty”. This means that we should have each others’ backs. We have people who need us, and we need them. I tend to let pride get in the way of this, and don’t ask for help when I need it. God showed me through that scripture that I need to be devoted and loyal to this family – because we need to pray for and love each other. Because again, God did not mean for us to live this life alone.

3) Each of one of us has a purpose.

As a mom, I struggle with this one a lot. There have been many days I’ve felt like all I do is wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, do laundry or housework, put kids to bed, and go to bed only to do the same thing over again. As Chad was reading, another scripture jumped out at me – “so those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls” (Acts 2:41). Did you catch that? 3000 people!! That is HUGE!! And I don’t think those three thousand souls were added to God’s family that day because the apostles were disgruntled and ornery. God is the one who saves, but He chooses to use us to tell others about Him.

4) No matter what happens – God is who He says He is.

We sang the “New Doxology” yesterday. It’s a beautiful song proclaiming the praises of God from people, nature, and the heavenly beings. It’s a song that boldly underlines the fact that God is strong, all-powerful, loving, tender-hearted, and cares deeply for each one of us. I needed to hear that. I needed to be reminded that no matter how I feel or what is happening that God is Almighty. With that truth in the forefront of my mind, everything else pales in comparison.

After trying to figure out why I’m in such a sour mood these days, I realized I needed to stop focusing on ME, and focus on my connection to God. My relationship with God. If this was just another task that I had to check off my “to-do” list, I would not be thrilled. Who wants one more thing to do these days? Communicating, serving, and waiting for God’s leading is something I get to do.

And just like you, I’m learning to enjoy this process. Quite frankly, there are times I despise this process. And I know after you’ve read this post, I probably would have already complained about something, bringing the focus back to my bad hair day, my children who won’t let me use the bathroom in peace, or Chad’s offer of help that I take as a criticism to whatever I’m doing at the moment. Thank God that His grace is more than sufficient for us. And it’s even more than sufficient for “that time of the month” too. 🙂

Came To My Rescue

As Christians, sometimes we forget what Jesus has really done for us. At church on Sunday we sang the song, “Came To My Rescue.” The words are as follows:

Falling on my knees in worship
Giving all I am to seek your face
Lord all I am is yours

My whole life
I place in your hands
God of Mercy
Humbled I bow down
In your presence at your throne

I called you answered
And you came to my rescue and I
I wanna be where you are

In my life be lifted high
In our world be lifted high
In our love be lifted high

As I was singing that song, it hit me what Christ had really done for me . . . for all of us. It wasn’t enough for Him to simply save me from the pits of Hell itself. I mean, that in itself is a major triumph. He overcame death! He overcame sin!

BUT . . . He also saved me from the hopeless world we live in. He saved me from living a life full of despair and depression. Let me describe to you what exactly Jesus saved me from:

hatred for myself, confusion, hopelessness, anxiety, defeat, no desire to live, strong mood swings, lots of crying, major guilt, self-condemnation, and feelings of inadequacy as a mother and a wife

I don’t tell you this to “depress” you, but to show you how powerful God is. Understand that I was experiencing these emotions and feelings while I was a Christian. After I accepted Christ, His forgiveness for my sins, and His grace for living life on this earth, I was still under major spiritual depression. Yes, I had taken care of the medical side, seeking help from my doctor. But there was still something missing. These “feelings” I was having were not normal, and made me feel just awful, like a wretched woman who had no right to be a mother, a wife, or a follower of Christ.

As I’ve stated before, my victory over depression began with meeting a compassionate Christian counselor, who could:

1) help me discern God’s truths from Satan’s lies

2) help me see who I am in Christ

3) show me the importance of being in the Word and in communication (prayer) with God

It was about 2 years after meeting with my counselor; I was in my living room folding laundry, while Connor was taking a nap. A song came on the radio (I don’t remember now) but as I was listening, it just hit me. God was working in my spirit and opened my eyes to show me the old life He had saved me from. Even though I was saved spiritually, He didn’t want to leave me there. He wanted me to have victory while living on this earth. I was in awe of what God had done and just started crying – tears of joy, not tears of sadness or guilt. It was like a huge weight had lifted off of me.

I do hope and pray that anyone experiencing any kind of depression or anxiety can someday experience what Christ has really done for them. My prayer with this blog is that you can see my experience, and know there is hope. Know that God does not want you to live this way. Know that there is victory through Him.

This was a process, a huge one. It did not happen overnight. I learned A LOT about trusting God (and still am) and waiting on Him. But at the same time, I learned that just because I was experiencing this hopelessness didn’t mean He wanted me to stay there. He was hurting just as much as I was, if not more. He does not want to see His children living in darkness.

Please know that I pray for my readers. I pray that you will seek medical help if you need it. I pray that you will seek help from a close friend, a spouse, or another family member, and be completely honest with them about your struggle. And I pray that most of all, you will seek God. Read His Word. Communicate with Him daily. At one point I read through the Psalms. It was comforting to know that David and the other psalmists could cry out to God with EXACTLY how they felt. They held nothing back.

I believe that overcoming depression can only be done through God’s power and saving grace. If you have questions about how this can be done, please like my Facebook page, “Living With Real Joy”, and send me a message. I would be happy to tell you more about how God came to my rescue.