Medication and Depression

Over the last few weeks I’ve had different people ask me what I think about the use of medication to treat depression. I HIGHLY recommend it! Obviously you need to talk with your physician about it first.

I first started taking meds when Bailey was 9 months old. They really helped. I was no longer angry, I was happy to be a Mom, and I was enjoying my baby. In fact, I felt so good again that about 2 months later we found out we were expecting Katelyn.

When Katelyn was born, I had no or very little issues with guilt and anger. It was wonderful. I felt like I had a chance for a “do-over” and could actually be a good parent right from the beginning.

It was about 3 years later I started having problems again with my symptoms. I remember telling Chad it felt like my medicine wasn’t working anymore. I was really feeling like I was going crazy again. I talked with my doctor and found out that the particular anti-depressant I was on can stop working – just like that. I had never heard about that before.

So for the next 6 months I went through about 3 different medications, trying to find the right one for me. If I’ve learned anything about medication, it’s that there is no “one size fits all”. It was tough to find the right prescription that best suited my body. One medication gave me horrible nightmares and made me feel like I had the flu. Another one didn’t seem to work at all. Together, my doctor and I finally found one that worked.

**Side Note: It is of the utmost importance to be completely honest with your physician. They cannot help you unless they know exactly how you’re feeling. And trust me, they want to help you.

Then of course, about 6 months later, I found out I was pregnant with Connor. During his pregnancy my doctor had to increase the dose of my anti-depressant. My OB/GYN said she’d rather have me on the medication, feeling little to no stress, then off the medication being an emotional wreck. Emotional imbalance could be worse on my baby than any possible side effects to the medication (which there were no known side effects at the time).

After Connor was born, I began to see a new doctor who was an advocate for combining medication with lifestyle changes (vitamins, supplements, diet changes). We worked through a plan that she customized for me based on my health history. It was working and I was very happy. Then she, through unknown circumstances, was no longer practicing at our hospital and I was stuck. We were just about to take me off the anti-depressants and she was going to monitor me through the whole process. Because of my history with these medications I was nervous about going off, but I was also excited about the possibility of no longer depending on drugs.

I went back to my family doctor and, with his help, began the process of being weaned off the medication. It didn’t take too long before I realized (and Chad did too) that this was not an option for me. I really struggled with this. I did NOT want to be dependent on medicine.

I’ve had plenty of time to try to figure out why I fought this so much. Pride. Fear. Appearance of being weak. Being dependent made me feel like I was not strong enough to fight depression, which really shows that for some reason I thought I should have some super human power to fight off any illness that attacks my body.

My good friend, Amie, once told me that if I had a sinus infection, the doctor would prescribe me an antibiotic. Depression is an illness just like an infection or a disease. The problem with mental illness is that you can’t see the infection. Science doesn’t even have all the answers for how depression, anxiety, and other illnesses of the mind work. This is why it feels like a science experiment when you’re trying to find the right dose, brand, hormone, vitamin, supplement, and medication, to treat depression. Needless to say, it can be VERY frustrating.

Currently, I am on 2 medications, 1 hormone, 3 vitamins/supplements, and 1 medical food. So far this combination is working great. But bodies can change, especially for women like me who are in their late 30’s and are done having children. I am expecting that sometime in the future I may be experimenting with new drugs that could better improve the health of my mind.

Medication can be a very important part of your treatment. One thing I’ll always remember when I was on my first prescription was that the anti-depressant cleared my head enough to allow me to think more clearly. This really helped as I was raising 2 young girls and serving in our church alongside my husband.

If you are in the midst of making a decision about medication, talk with your doctor and also your spouse, if you’re married. Honestly, if they’re like Chad, they will be more than happy to try anything. 🙂 You should also pray about it. I did and I distinctly remember God telling me to make an appointment. And I am so glad I finally did.